A Neutral Name

Have you ever tried to come up with a neutral name? It's harder than you think!

First you can try the usual baby name finders, like this one. However, they all think that 'neutral' means 'gender neutral'. How shallow eh? The first suggestion I found from them (using Google to jump straight in) was "Veridian" which, while being somewhat of a cool name, is not necessarily neutral. It is defined as "A neutral name. From the Latin "Veridis" meaning "Green"." As to whether green is a neutral colour, that's a topic for another day, I'll get to it later.

Next, assuming one has not found a truly neutral name, which one man hadn't, that leaves us with the Mighty Thesaurus. This throws up a few possibilities:

"Mr. Cool Vanilla"

...For example... Or:

"Mr. Achromatic Vague"

...For another.

However, do these really sound like names to you? Well, yeah, the top one sounds pretty sweet to me too, but come on, you gotta be sensible!

This brings us to the somewhat tenuous last resort of using synonyms of words which 'neutral' happens, itself, to be a synonym of. But hey the result is pretty sweet, it has a certain harmony of neutrality in it, but the second name does have an interesting alternative meaning:

"The entire sequence of ecological communities successively occupying an area from the initial stage to the climax"

And isn't that interesting? No, seriously? That's natural selection baby.

But am I selected or really neutral?