Atlantis Rising.

Anyone remotely interested in mythology has to, at some stage, come to the subject of Atlantis. There's indubitably a Dan Brown monster in there somewhere. Whilst searching the web for the wealth of knowledge on the subject there is (the best being some of the ebooks at The Gutenberg Project) I came across a magazine called Atlantis Rising.

It reminded me of those classic seventies sci-fi yearly collections - you know, the ones with the hilarious adverts for, hang on while I get one and look, here we are, oh god these are good, I'll give a couple of examples:

"New Aluminium Buttsnuffer, extinguishes cigarettes with no smoke, burned fingers, odors. Fits and Ash Tray. Prevents fires, saves furniture. Beautiful, mysterious, humorous. Guaranteed. 3 for $1."

"Microwaves - Do they affect plant growth, buildings, fences[!!!!] or people? Anxious to hear from researchers? ..."

"SPELLBIND FRIENDS... Create excitement with amazing new Hi-Fi album, 'FILE #733, UFO'. Critics Agree: 'Most dramatic evidence for FLYING SAUCERS ever presented.' 'First person interviews tell terrifying tales.' £3.97.

And my personal favourite:

"English speaking Swedish/German girls seek penfriends/husbands[!!!]. Photoalbum $5.00; prospectus free! - COSMOCLUB 'SILVERTHISTLE'"

Actually these were from a sixties book - 'Fantasy and Science Fiction, March 1967.' Who'd have thought eh? Those flower people...

Anyway, that was a rather longer (but deserved) diversion than planned. Actually it works out quite well since I can now do a comparison to the even more hilariously gullible audiences of today... Here are some modern advertisments from Atlantis Rising:

"The Rose Grail Elixir from Ascension Rose Alchemy: What is it?
Created from pure water holding only the memories of a crystalline perfection existing at the dawn of creation; it is lovingly held in a Grail vessel combined with petals from organically grown roses; Light-encoded with the Mother Matrix of all Creation.
Together they are spun to a high frequency state that is multi-dimensional and multi-harmonic, surpassing in frequency and effectiveness any monatomic element.... Some have reported: Seeing beings of light; seeing sacred geometrical shapes; seeing their DNA unravel and recombine; sensing the Christ presence within; a closer connection to nature; inner peace; prophetic dreams and visions; increased psychic ability; seeing auras etc... One bottle, only $33!"

Awesome stuff ain't it? It must be some kind of goddamn hallucinagen! Read more absolute hilarity Here.

"Time Machines! For catalogue send $1.00 to..."

I kid you not.

"Awaken to the Comforting Truth... From Galactic Messanger and Channel Michael Allen. For more than 50 years Michael has channeled from Galactica the truth of who we are, answering the many mysteries surrounding the disappearance of the advanced civilizations, the building of the pyramids, crop circle formations and the reason for the negative (satanic) energy in the collective consciousness of this planet. Awaken to the truth in the Everlasting Gospel, only $5 with suggested donation $15!"

You've got to love it huh? Maybe I should have a word with this guy about the supposed negative energy in our planet... That doesn't sound very neutral...

[Artwork from Here...]